Rick Martinez // Allan A Dale

There are way too many times in my life when the answer to a question is "I know a guy". Does anything good ever happen when you "know a guy". I know some shady people, I'm not denying this. Fuck, I've even been the guy on occasion. What worries me is when it's my mother who knows the guy.

Dallas, if we want any goat cheese, apparently my mother knows a guy. A goat cheese guy. I'm really afraid to ask any more about it.

Tú me estás jodiendo.

Well this is new.

Damnit. I have to go to work.

Hood, you better be alive or we'll all come kick your ass, no kidding.

Dallas, have I mentioned what a sexy outlaw you are? I almost miss when we didn't like each other. Kinda hot.

I do love the insane rumors that circulate around the precinct on slower weeks. Especially when the rumors don't involve any cases that I'm working on. On the off chance that there actually is some new wealthy and potentially violent polygamist cult hiding out between here and San Diego, I take comfort in the fact that at least it's unlikely to be reincarnate related or committing petty crimes in LA neighborhoods.

No me diga. Reincarnate Squad. Of course, if you're all going to keep throwing down in my backyard, we probably do need one of those. You know what? I'm already missing gang wars and drive-bys. I'm not being funny, at least they make some kind of sense. Anyone out there want to fess up to whatever the fuck went down last night? It'd make my job a hell of a lot easier.

I know it has absolutely nothing to do with me or Allan, but I'm still a little disappointed that I didn't get a spaceship for my birthday. I was starting to think that was just how things worked around here.

We really did miss a mess. Who knew you people had so many secrets? And who knew your secrets were so boring? A whole week of that and there were no earth-shattering revelations. I'm almost disappointed.

Edited to add:

[Reeve]

You had to drink the damn water, didn't you.

Okay, punks, here is the deal. I am done. I am out of patience. I am out of nice. From this point forth, if you come at me with a fist I will come at you with a knife. If you come at me with a knife, I will come at you with a gun. And if you come at me with a gun you better fucking hope you kill me because I will bring the fight to your door so hard and so fast I will drop your punkass before you know what hits you, sabes mamabicho'e?

I have one more day of this shit before I am getting married and getting out of this ciudad loca. I'm sure the gods or the universe or whatever think it's plenty funny to screw with me until then, but I have had enough. I fucking swear, the only guy having a worse day than me is the brainless asshole unlucky enough to hold up a 7-11 at the exact same moment a plain-clothes cop stopped in for groceries and a pack of cigarettes. Fucking idiot thieves...

Yes, fireworks are illegal here.

Yes, I am a hardass.

Welcome to America.

Now cut it out, I have better things I could be doing right now.

I give up.  I really don't care what color the flowers are, what kind of cake we have, or who reads what.  I cannot possibly make another decision or my brain is going to shut down.  I'm pretty sure I haven't even been in on half of the stuff as it is.

Dallas, baby, I know we've only got a few weeks of this left, but I may give up and go live in the forest by then.  Think it's too late to run off to Vegas instead?

( Phin )

( Reeve )

( Reeve )

( Jake Wilde )

I didn't realize two people could own so much stuff. Where are we going to put all this?

The truth we all know about police work...

( Suspect was found without pants, eating candy in the basement. )

Well, this just keeps getting better and better. So not only does it turn out that I'm a crazy person running around with a fictional person in my head, I finally check this out and it turns out that several people I know are also crazy, and have been keeping this bit of crazy a secret. I'm not being funny here, you all need to explain what the fuck is going on here to me.

( Honest is easy. Fiction's where genius lies, 'cause it’s easier sometimes not to be involved, somehow I make you believe. )